After I sent Kara and Calvin off on the airplane yesterday, I started a new journal. I feel a lot of new beginnings… saying goodbye to the remnants of the Nepal community in the States. Making a decision to end up in Omaha and not in Nepal, finding roommates and starting to pack up the little apartment in the city, among other things. It’s good… this period of transition is essential, it’s like being engaged. Kind of rough but necessary.
Over and over I think about the rich young ruler. I wrote a support letter about this passage, but I keep finding new depths in that statement “Sell all you have and give to the poor.” When these people that I love so much- whether it’s the Nepal community, Lara, or Laura, or April in Romania, or Ericka/Andrew in Ottawa, or Lisa or Chester, or any dear friends around the world leave my life or I have to leave them… I feel like I’m that rich young ruler. I want to keep you all near me. I want to be able to text you at any time or call you whenever. But even you I have to give to the poor, I feel like I’m really having to do that constantly. When you read that passage, or intense verses like this, it seems like this doesn’t really make sense. I asked Jesus about it… “What do You mean? Your burden feels so heavy to me sometimes, I don’t understand this.”
He said a bunch of neat stuff, and it went something like… “I have freely given you so many things… all these I ask you now to give back to Me… Are you willing to sacrifice your community to serve My Beloved poor? Give them to me… my poor need these people more than you do. I will give you My Hand to hold instead… Remember that I always want good things for you. When I break your heart it is the best thing for you…
Find your rest by gazing at My face, and reflecting on My mystery. My yoke is one of authenticity and prayer, it is beautiful and a privilege to carry… My burden will bring you deep joy.”
I still don’t really understand what all that means, but it’s something to think about…
4 Comments
May 1, 2008 at 9:02 am
beautiful mini-essay. I think I will save it.
May 1, 2008 at 6:49 pm
That was good Liz, really good.
May 4, 2008 at 5:37 pm
What an amazing time for you Liz, amazing. Here we go ehh?
May 7, 2008 at 11:22 pm
hi liz! its me, susan, who you don’t really know, but who made her lazy way to your blog through aju’s most recent post. i must say, because why wouldn’t i … your heart! its lovely.
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