Ego?

I don’t think I have a big ego or too high an opinion of myself.

But sometimes when I feel sad I read my old blog posts just to crack myself up.

Hmmm…

Practicing Vacation.

When I was a kid we used to take a vacation once a year, almost every time to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It made a good rhythm for a family of really hard workers. My mom saved for an entire year for this trip and planned meticulously so that no matter how business was for Dad’s company we could go. She found cheap hotels in the off-season when it was still warm enough to swim, we drove and bought groceries and cooked in the hotel room. One night we would go out and blow it on a really nice seafood buffet and eat ourselves silly. Our attempts to play family football on the beach usually didn’t end so well, with an older brother who-shall-remain-nameless crying by the end of the game.

Over the years we went with different family members, brought friends, and took other close family friends. One of my favorite trips we went with the Flint family and drank Dr. Pepper and played hours of Canasta. Somehow my mom got a MB library card, she’s possibly the most resourceful woman I know. So we could rent books and read while we were there, especially if it was a longer trip. I remember reading for hours in the hot tub, sitting in an inner tube. I also remember deciding to take a stab at song-writing, a decision possibly influenced by the hours in the hot chemical soup. Yes, I have written a couple songs and I can still remember the tune and lyrics of one in particular.

The Myrtle Beach memories are sincere and beautiful in my heart, some of the best. I want to practice a vacation rhythm like that as I grow into my adult life.

Kobusingye- The Real Story.

“All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.” – Julian of Norwich

In June I wrote a prayer letter about Twitter. Then I thought, “Maybe I should actually start tweeting more.” So I’ve been trying to tweet regularly. A couple friends asked me about my twitter name; kobusingyeliz. “It’s too hard!” they said. I was thinking that if you don’t know the story it kind of seems like back in middle school (or college for some of you ) when AIM was big and people picked names like “2cool4skul” or “iheartpeterwege” to be their chat name. Remember old school AIM or chat rooms? haha.

Actually, my Twitter name is Kobusingye (Koh-bu- sin -jay) Liz. It’s a two part name and just plain “Kobusingye” was taken.  My sweet friend Gloria’s family is Banyankole from the Western part of Uganda. When I was visiting they called me Kobusingye. It was kind of a joke, like at church they’d introduce me that way to people and then at home, and even now over e-mail and Facebook they call me that. In their culture people have two names- a Christian name and a traditional name. It’s like having a first and a middle name instead of a first and a last name. So Gloria’s second name (Katusiime) is different than each of her brothers’ second names and her parents’ names. I’m still confused about how they can keep families straight without the help of a family name, but they do. Maybe in the future women and men will be able to figure out something like this in the States instead of hyphenation or women always taking the husband’s name, but then Gloria’s mom took her husband’s traditional name (Ndyagambaki- wow.mom.hard!) so I guess I don’t totally understand how the whole system works.

Kobusingye means peacemaker/peaceful one in Runyankore. Serenity/peace is my Enneagram ‘virtue’ which means I will probably spend my life learning to live into it. For me peace means accepting that things will be ok and that the manner in which they happen is also ok. Mistakes, sadness, embarrassing moments, emotions, anger, all those things are the daily manner of life happening and being peace means accepting that these things happen and life will still be ok. I think peace means that even while fighting injustice and reforming systems you have to accept the flaws of others and love them instead of trying to change them. It means that sometimes you have to compromise on perfection, and recognize that there aren’t perfect people and there are never perfect solutions. It means not giving up when something isn’t quite right because good and bad can be mixed together. To me, finally and most difficult, peace means that it’s ok that I’m not perfect and that God still loves me as a flawed person, and other people know my flaws and still love me too. One of my biggest sins is not believing that anyone, especially God, could love me though I’m not perfect.

So to live into this name in the day to day is part of why I use it for different things, even small and silly things like Twitter. I like Kobusingye because I chose it, I was called to it, and I’m challenged by it.

Little Girls.

Thinking about sibling dynamics today because a friend of mine just had twin boys! She already had two boys, so now that makes four of ‘em!

When my sisters were young we used to be called like this: “Keith, Elizabeth and the Little Girls.” It started there but then we would just call my sisters Little Girls all the time.

“Hey mom, where are the little girls?” “Are the little girls coming to Grand Rapids with you?” “Who is bringing the little girls?” “Did the little girls clean up their room?”

It’s funny now that they aren’t so little and our family dynamic has changed, one is in college and it’s hard to refer to them in a duo. I also think “Little Girls” might have ended sometime after Keith and I moved out and it was easier to call them by their names.  I wonder if when they both get out of college we’ll start calling them the little girls again.

Best.

You know how you’re supposed to say your best and worst qualities at a job interview? The worst are always easier… but tonight I was thinking that my favorite quality about myself is the way I fall in love with people when I spend quality time with them, talking one on one. This happened a couple times today. I think it redeems my propensity to see all other things in the world in black and white. 

What’s your best quality?

Omaha.

This place is my City of Joy. 

 

More to come…

Math Dad. True Story.

From: Liz
Sent: Tuesday, May 05, 2009 3:15 PM
To: Stephen
Subject: statistics question

hi dad!

i just took the gallup strengths/finder test.

what are the probabilities of someone having 34 strengths in the same order?

apparently the odds are that only 1 in 33 million people will have your top 5 strengths (out of 34 possible) in the same order as you.

love,

eliz

From: Stephen
Sent: Tuesday, May 05, 2009 5:19 PM
To: Liz
Subject: re: statistics question

Hey – That maybe a tough question…

My first guess is the number of specific combinations of 34 elements selected in any specific order is: 34! (34 factorial), so the probability of selecting exactly that one is 1/34! or about 1 in every 2.95 x 10e+38.

Using this same method (Combinatorial probability), the probability of selecting exactly the same first 5 numbers is: 1/34 x 1/33 x 1/32 x 1/31 x 1/30 = 1 out of every 33,390,720, which matches what you said below.

The Math Dad.

Pick A Point.

Which is more offensive? (must choose one)

a. threatening to fashion a shank out of your travel toothbrush and stab the annoying woman sitting behind you on a flight?

b. pretending to hug your boss and punching them in the kidney instead?

c. yelling TICK TOCK at a significant other if they aren’t moving as fast as you’d like?

d. consistently beeping someone over and over and over, even when they pick up the phone?

e. telling a priest who is on sabbatical that he should quit avoiding responsibility?

f. saying “I miss Brent!” every time Brent’s replacement asks you to do something?

My Friend Said This.

“It’s not fair that I was told God is a man. Because what does that say about me as a woman?”

Friends on the Journey.

I mentioned St Joseph in one of my last posts, but I’m thinking of some other saints that have been friends for the last 22 years.

1. Thomas the Apostle…  I was confirmed at this parish in GR, I love that parish! I also have been to his tomb in South India. Matt Neher asked on my Servant Team, “Why did Jesus keep His scars? Maybe it was a grace for us.” When I came home  I felt like Thomas, that Jesus had shown me His scars on my Servant Team out of grace for me, which is why I got my first tattoo “Grace” in Nepali on my left wrist in 06.

2. Catherine Laboure; the saint of the Miraculous Medal and my patron saint. I feel a lot of connection to her because she seems to show up in different ways. I attend St Catherine Laboure parish when I am home visiting my folks. I wore a Miraculous Medal that was given to me by the MCs in Kolkata (all the volunteers get one) for years before someone told me a bit about the story. (I thought the woman on the back with twelve stars around her was Mother Teresa. Err….) Catherine Laboure (or Zoe- her nickname) was super young when she had the vision of the medal and she shared it with her spiritual director, then lived the rest of her life in obscurity serving among the poor as a Daughter of Charity. The Daughters of Charity chose to always be interrupted by service, no matter what they were doing- prayer, Mass, time together, etc. They said the poor were Jesus. I see lots of inspiration in her life of humility and simplicity.

2. Mother Teresa, this goes without saying. When I read “Come Be My Light” last Lent I was struck by so much of what she said and lived. I’ve always loved the phrase “I Thirst” on the crucifixes in her homes. She talked about that in the book and offering some beautiful for God. This was why I got my second tattoo, it’s a band the width of the black rings that symbolize solidarity with the poor and it says “I Thirst” on it. I had it on my right arm because I want to give my best always for Christ’s Beloved, the way Mother Teresa did. Lately I’ve been thinking about ‘praying the work’ the idea that Chris has credited to Mother Teresa. I want to do that with my days and work.

3. St Dominic… I can’t not mention him! I love the Dominicans for their intelligence and commitment to the Church, I also went to a Dominican school so this guy needs a shout-out. Thanks to his legacy in St Catherine of Siena- the mystic, and Aquinas as well as so many other greats in Church history. He is also credited for instituting the rosary which has been a comfort and strength to me throughout the last few years.

4. Martin Niemoller…. A Protestant?! Yes. This guy was a German war hero in WWI and a Pastor, early supporter of Hitler, and anti-semitic. He’s the one who said “They came first for the communists, and I wasn’t a communist, so I didn’t say anything…” When he died at the end of his life he was a pacifist and said that he prayed for his mistakes  and for those of thousands of people during the war. I love this man’s brokenness that was so in front of him, being an outspoken supporter of something that he realized was wrong, and then going back and bravely taking responsibility and apologizing.

5. Rumi. A Sufi mystic, she helped me find the lover in my relationship with Jesus. I can’t say much, her poems speak for themselves. Teresa of Avila is like that too… it’s not what I know of her life as much as the things that she said that have inspired and challenged me.

6. Steve Biko, the black South African activist. I’ve blogged about him before. Love this man, he’s taught me a lot.

7. A few living friends… Thich Nant Hanh, Jon Sobrino, Joan Chittister, Margaret Atwood.