I went on a North Omaha trolley tour recently with Jara, Kenley, and Mimi. It was all about the World’s Fair in 1898 and what it would have looked like here or there or this building was like that. I got bored. Drank some OJ. I closed my eyes, imagining me and Jara in big dresses, walking through the streets talking and riding a REAL trolley.
Reality Check.
We probably wouldn’t have been walking through the streets together talking. We wouldn’t have been doing that because Jara is African-American and I am white. George Smith was lynched in Omaha in 1891 by a white mob who never faced any kind of repercussion. Racial riots and tensions were happening through out the early 1900s and Omaha was significantly segregated. I would most likely not have had a friendship with a woman of color, and if I did we couldn’t have paraded it at the world’s fair.
Go back 50 more years- Jara’s ancestors were slaves. Jump ahead to the 1950’s, I had family members in the KKK.
It’s a shock to my naive optimism to imagine myself back in 1898 and without the possibility of Jara’s friendship. I hate the fact that as a white, socially- aware American I want to pretend we are integrated, pretend we are diverse, and pretend that racism doesn’t exist anymore. It does and it does even in me; I STILL have prejudices and naive ideas about race. Last year in Uganda I commented to my friend Royii “Well, they ( a young white person doing ministry work in Uganda) are living here so I guess they don’t have those assumptions about race.” He said to me “Didn’t you know, the number one qualification for a missionary in Uganda is to be racist?!”
Now, 2009. Reading this is another reality check. Had a great conversation with Jara and Joe Gerstandt talking about experiences in diversity and inclusion and one thing struck me. I’ve been dancing around this in my mind but haven’t known how to name it. I see white people wanting to make issues of diversity about proving we, as individuals, are not racist. I have to confess this- I want to do it. When issues of diversity come up it’s tempting to make a tally in my head of friends of color or situations where I proved that I’m really open to diversity. Joe said that is a really common response when working with companies, he is talking about creating a culture of diversity, someone gets defensive, and then it becomes about how many people of color went to each person’s high school. Sounds absurd, right? But people do it! I’ve done it!
I don’t think we’re going to get very fair in these larger conversations until we stop taking it personally. It’s not about me, it’s about structural issues of exclusion, and when I make it about me I am minimizing the issue and sinning against the people who are being excluded. These conversations should be about building a community (in WMF, in Omaha, in the world) of innovation and creativity- the kind that comes from embracing diversity and recognizing people’s unique gifts. Diversity is deeper than race and it’s deeper than my ego about “not being a racist’ person.
Building an innovative and creative world is going to cost those of us who are white and socially aware something. It’s going to cost us the good feeling we get when we say “I have x number of African American friends.” or “I work with a Hispanic guy.” Today I decided that I’m willing to pay that price. I’m confessing my naivete, confessing that I’m going to stop taking it personal, and declaring that I’m done proving I’m not racist.
” haha. But I know how she felt in that moment.
